All the (Reluctantly) Single Ladies

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The latest research shows that women are staying single longer.  Of course, we can't deny all of the amazing things that go along with being single. Things like: Freedom from stereotypical gender responsibilities in the home The joy of coming and going, answering to no one but yourself A cornucopia of adventurous sexual liaisons The ability to [...]

Why Behavioral Tools Aren’t Increasing your Emotional IQ

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The term “Emotional IQ” is all the rage in tech these days. Wikipedia offers a quick and dirty definition of Emotional Intelligence: “Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is the capacity of individuals to recognize their own, and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional [...]

Is Success Worth It? The costs of being underrepresented in tech.

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(This article first appeared in Psychology Today) Though upward mobility represents the epitome of the American Dream, research shows that professional success has high costs on the emotional and psychological well-being of those who come from underprivileged backgrounds. As a biracial psychotherapist in San Francisco, I am no stranger to witnessing the psychological and emotional [...]

When to Leave and When to Stay: How Do You Know When the Relationship Is Over?

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There are moments when our romantic relationship takes a surreal turn. For Topher,* it was the moment when he opened his laptop and discovered that Dan, his partner of over 7 years, had been cheating on him. “We’d always talked about how we were disgusted by people who cheated,” Topher told me, still baffled by [...]

The Psychological Toll of Being Underrepresented in Tech

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A “Unicorn.” This is how Gail* describes herself. “I was groomed for this type of work.” Gail’s parents were in tech long before tech was a thing. She describes that her mother and father made sure she was “well-spoken” and highly educated. She now works as a Data Infrastructure Engineer at a hot startup in [...]

Why Is My Romantic Life Such A Mess?!

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Great question! Maybe you keep dating guys who jerk you around. Maybe you date ladies who get mad at you because you don't want to commit. Maybe you're in a relationship, but you feel constantly disappointed by your partner. Shoot, maybe you feel like you're constantly disappointing your partner! Whatever your relationship troubles, chances are [...]

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When I set goals, I start out strong, but then…

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You set the goal, write-up the plan, follow it for a few weeks and then... life gets in the way. If you're the person who has read every self-help book and watched every inspirational show, yet you still find yourself falling back into the same frustrating behaviors, then psychotherapy can help.       If [...]

Where Do I Start?

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If you're looking for a therapist, it is likely that you've tried everything else and nothing has worked. You're ready for something new. Starting psychotherapy simply takes a willingness to show up. This sounds simple, but it is often the hardest part. Though starting therapy can be exciting, it may also feel very nerve-wracking, as [...]